Apple, Moses, and Emma

Okay- so I have decided that my large influx of older friends that are popping out kids are driving me nuts. Attention everyone- its time to play the name game. While we have one set of friends that are dedicated to naming their poor child Malachi, we have 2 sets of friends who are desparately wanting to name their daughters Cecelia. Bravo to them for not following the trends, but Malachi? Really? I guess when I do grow up and have kids, my friends will have something to say about my name choices, but until then, all I have to say is...Malachi? Really? This new "name your kid something completely off the wall so they can be original" is becoming even more popular thanks to dotes who name their kids stuff like "apple" because it's biblical. Yes, the apple- the original source of man's eternal sin and damnation, woman's original temptation embodied in a 2 year old little girl. And now her brother, Moses. I mean, what do you expect of your son when you name his Moses? Do you really want him to lead another set of Jews through the desert for 40 years. "Hey how's Moses doing?" "Well last time we heard from him, he was in the middle of the Sahara with a bunch of circumcised men..." I give up. I don't know what's worse... Moses or the 40 million Aidans and Emmas that have been born into this world after Sex in the City and Friends. I feel bad though for people that are stuck in the middle, like I probably will be someday. I mean, my child is going to have the 12th most common last name in the nation, but does that really give me the right to go and name it Ignatius or Angus or Lemon. I guess I can't really criticize because I have never been through the process, but whatever happened to the wait and see doctrine. I mean everyone finds everything out in advance now- the unnecessary scheduleding of c-sections, the sex of the baby, I mean, why not just go ahead and enroll the kid in college before its born. I mean, where's the surprise? Are we becoming so obsessed with our lives that procreation in itself has become a timed event? "well I can't have kids while I'm in school...but I don't want to take maternity leave during my first three years on the job, so that means we can have a kid in October 2013 and I'll schedule my delivery between hearings." People are so worried about making sure that their children use every minute of their childhood trying to get ahead that they forget to let them be kids. Fortunately, the people I babysit for seem to have the right idea on how to balance their want of their childrens' success in life with the knowledge that childhood only happens once. I think that I'm going to stay away from the baby boat for a few more years, take notes from them, and learn from my other friends as they start the trial and error process of parenthood. But seriously, Moses, if you're out there...buddy, I'm sorry.